First Confessions and Last Goodbyes
by randomly
Summary: KakaNaru, KakaxNaru It's finally become too much for Naruto as he tries to end his life, but a certian, silver haired jounin finds him. How will it end? read on. Reviews please :D


**FIRST CONFESSIONS AND LAST GOODBYES**

**Disclaimer **– I do not own Naruto – as you all now the series belongs to Masashi Kishimoto… I whish I owned it though…

**Summary:** Emo, angsty Oneshot. Naruto tries to commit suicide but Kakashi finds him – what happens?

**Random: **To all you dear readers, if you have the time, please leave a review, it would be greatly appreciated if you took the time

FIRST CONFESSIONS AND LAST GOODBYES

There was blood, so very much blood. The red liquid was pooling around the lithe frame of a blond boy lying unmoving on his bathroom floor.

--

Sai and Sakura waited on the bridge, their meeting spot, for Kakashi - the silver haired jounin would be training them the coming month whilst Yamato was on a mission concerning Akatsuki - knowing their sensei wouldn't arrive for some time. Naruto wasn't there yet either, which was unusual since he usually arrived before the others, and it caused them to wonder why their blonde teammate hadn't shown up. After half an hour or so Kakashi had appeared in a puff of smoke, asking them where their blonde teammate was.

"He probably overslept" Sai said with his usual, unemotional voice – though there was a hint of _something_ when he said so. He may have been trained not to feel, but encountering the blonde jinchuuriki had changed him.

"He never showed strangely enough, he's usually here before the lot of us. I guess he's tired or something, he's been working pretty hard lately. Still, it isn't like him not to show…" Sakura was a little worried, but it was true, Naruto had been working a lot lately – he was probably just tired.

"Well, that's really too bad, today I'd planned something that takes all four of us, so I guess you two can go home, I'll see you tomorrow" Sai disappeared at once when Kakashi dismissed them, Sakura waved a hand at her sensei and walked off towards the Hokage tower – if she had the day off from team training she might as well go help Tsunade out with whatever the blonde sannin was doing.

--

Kakashi felt uneasy, he had all morning though he didn't know why, and he decided to go check on the blonde to be sure he was all right. The poor boy had been having a hard time lately – his best friend almost killed him and then left him to join Orochimaru almost three years ago now, and after that everything had gone downhill for the blonde. Shortly after he was let out of the hospital he'd left the village with Jiraiya, not returning until 2 and a half years later and as a changed person. He was no longer the cheery, happy child he had once been – he was much more serious, and kept more to himself. He also thought things more through now than before, hardly ever did he let his tongue slip, and he never did any spontaneous stunts any longer – the number on most unpredictable ninja of Konoha was but a shell of his old self. As four months had passed since his return it was become more and more apparent how changed he was, and the last two weeks the blonde had completely enclosed himself – going straight home after training without a word to anyone, never hanging out with his friends, and what had worried Kakashi the most; the blonde never even showed his emotions any more.

"What happened to you, Naruto?" Kakashi muttered to himself as he walked across town to where Naruto's apartment was situated, "Will you ever be the same?" The copy nin stopped dead in his tracks, the smell of blood was evident in the air, and the scent seemed to be of someone he was familiar with. 'What's going on?' the jounin though to himself, then hurried on towards Naruto's apartment.

--

Kakashi had stood outside the blonde's apartment for at least 5 minutes hammering at the door, but no one opened. The smell of blood was even stronger here and he was terrified something might have happened to the blonde. The jounin finally lost his patience and kicked in his former student's door.

"Naru…" Kakashi stumbled backwards, as soon as he'd stepped inside a horrible stench hit him like a slap in the face. Naruto's apartment reeked of blood, both old and new, and he immediately knew something was wrong.

"**Naruto!" **no answer came. **"Naruto, where are you?"** the jounin ran through the small apartment calling for its inhabitant who was nowhere to be found. It took Kakashi about half a minute to check every creek of the apartment for the blonde when he realized he hadn't checked the bathroom yet. He hurried over to the bathroom door and pulled the handle only to find the door locked. Not one to wait he broke down the door; the sight that awaited him was horrifying.

The white tiled room was covered in different shades of red – most of the blood was dark red and had dried on the tiles of the wall and the floor, but there were also puddles of newer thick, red liquid. On the floor, his expression twisted in pain but yet so calm, lay Naruto - his wrists slit open so many times Kakashi didn't even care to count the cuts and he also had cuts on his thighs and his torso.

"Kami…" The jounin said, horrified, as his senses returned to him and he was able to move again. The terrible sight had shocked him – this was not something he was prepared for. "Oh _fuck_, this is bad…" The silver haired man was unsure of what to do for the fist time in ages. "Naruto, can you hear me?" Kakashi said as he knelt down besides the boy, putting one hand on his throat to check for pulse. Nothing. He waited for almost half a minute – which to him seemed like an eternity - before his fingers detected the barely notable pulse in the blonde's veins. "Naruto… NARUTO!" Kakashi raised his voice and shook the boy trying to get a reaction - any sign that the boy was able to hear him would be good enough – no response came. He put his hand over the boy's mouth and nose to make sure that he was still breathing. The blonde's breath, too, was barely detectible and at a dangerously low rate.

"FUCK…" Kakashi was out of words and, on top of that, his mind decided to stop working at that very moment. "This is really, really bad… It's going to be fine…" The jounin was scared, so very scared, as he said what he so desperately wanted to be true to himself. "Naruto, just stay alive for a little longer, please, just a little while, you'll make it… You- You always do…" The silver haired man caressed the younger boy's cheek, and lifted him up, holding him to his chest; as if on cue his instincts kicked in and he moved automatically. As fast as he could the jounin carried the boy in his arms towards the hospital. Suddenly, when he was half way to his destination he decided to turn, making a sharp left and heading to the Hokage tower instead. He hurried inside and to Tsunade's office as fast as his legs would carry him, if not for the adrenalin that had kicked in he would have collapsed on the spot.

The two ANBU guards outside the Godaime's office were shocked at the sight of the infamous Kakashi carrying a bloody and dead-looking Naruto, clutching the boy as if his very life depended on it. They said nothing but simply stepped aside as they saw that the situation was serious.

Kakashi pushed open the door to Tsunade's office with his shoulder and barged in to find Sakura and Tsunade staring up at him from a mountain of paperwork. At first they seemed stunned, then fear took over from the lack of emotion in their eyes.

"Sakura, get any medic nins you can find and come back here as quick as possible!" Tsunade ordered as she swiped whatever papers were on her desk down on the floor.

"Yes ma'am'' Sakura replied, her bodily functions returning after the shock, then she ran out the door.

"W-What happened to him?" Tsunade asked, her voice shaking as Kakashi lay the boy down on her desk - blood was smeared all over his uniform, but he couldn't care less.

"I… He… He n-never showed up to training, s-so I went to check on him and…" Kakashi was stuttering, which was something the male simply did not do, but he was terrified. "I f-found him on his… he was laying on his bathroom floor, a-and he - he was hardly breathing, his pulse was so weak… there was b-blood e-e-everywhere." Anyone could easily see the terror in Kakashi's eyes, and Tsunade briefly put a hand on the man's shoulder to console him before she turned her full attention to Naruto.

--

Tsunade was panting, it'd only been 15 minutes but she was exhausted, even getting Naruto to have the slightest hint of a _regular _pulse had taken so much chakra that she was exhausted – in the corner of her office stood a horrified Kakashi watching. Suddenly, the office door burst open as Sakura and 12 medic-nins stormed inside.

"W-What happened to him?" Sakura asked shakily.

"That doesn't matter; now help me get him back. His pulse is at about 5 beats per minute currently, it took a lot even to get it there, and he's hardly breathing." Sakura and the 12 others circled the desk on which Naruto was lying and started working on him, Kakashi sinking into a fetal-like position in the corner of Tsunade's office, his body paralyzed with fear. There was a secret the jounin had never told a soul, one that he wouldn't even admit to himself until _this_ – he loved the blonde. He had known he had feelings for the boy for a long time, but those feelings became all too clear when disaster hit.

-**6 hours later-**

"He's bleeding again, heal him!" someone shouted for the millionth time that night – Kakashi had stopped caring who did what, his mind not really present at the scene but he still picked up on what was being said in the room.

Earlier, Neji, who was one of the two ANBU guarding the door when Kakashi'd arrived with Naruto, tried to escort him out and calm him, but the jounin had gone into a frenzy and started shouting – kicking and screaming at the younger male – then he'd broken down and started crying. Shocked at the very not Hatake-like reaction the Hyuuga had decided it was best to leave his senior be, knowing that by upsetting him even further he could make him go into a serious shock, not just the light state he was currently in, and that would give Tsunade and her helpers even more to worry about.

As the boy was about to leave the room his hokage caught his eyes and made him stop. "Neji, as you've probably already realized this is bad. Really bad. I'd appreciate it if you'd call the rookie nine and also Jiraiya and Iruka to come here, in case anything happens I want them to be here. You may leave your post to do so, get someone else to cover it for you, now hurry."

The ANBU had simply nodded, then headed out to gather all those closest to Naruto.

--

The hours that passed seemed like an eternity on all the nins that were working on healing Naruto, and for Kakashi it seemed even longer. How could he not have known that something was wrong with the only person he truly cared for? If the blonde died that would mean that every single person who ever meant something to the silver haired man were dead. He swore to himself that if Naruto made it through he'd tell him how he truly felt, help him get through it – and if not, well, he'd never let himself care for another person again. What was he thinking - the blonde _would_ make it, he had to. "Naruto…" He muttered to himself as he slowly started rocking back and forth.

"Shit… Sakura!" Tsunade yelled. The medical expert knew to keep an eye on everything that was going on, and at the moment that meant Kakashi too – the man had gone into shock. "Kakashi's in shock, go calm him down – if that doesn't work just knock him out, we can't have him freaking out in here…" Sakura nodded, she knew what Tsunade meant – if her sensei snapped it could result in Naruto's, and possibly even his own death.

"I'm on it" She said as she left the table where the now stabilized Naruto lay – being treated by the best medical ninja of Konoha.. Walking over to Kakashi, Sakura knelt when she reached his side and put her hands on his broad shoulders.

"Kakashi" She said firmly, using one hand to make him look at her.

"B-Blood… there was s-s-so m-much blood. H-he… I…" Tears were streaming down the visible part of the jounins face and soaking his mask slowly. The silver haired male was in such a state as Sakura had never seen him before – in fact, she'd never seen anyone in a shock this bad. "I t-t-thought he was d-d… dead" the last word escaped Kakashi's throat as a sob as the man resumed his slow rocking motion. "Kakashi. Kakashi! Focus on me damn it! Naruto is alive, he's going to make it and that's thanks to you, so snap out of it!" The only reaction she got was a glare from her ex-sensei – he looked like a three year old who'd gotten lost at the market– big, tear-filled eyes staring up at her and begging for help before he yet again resumed his rocking. Suddenly he started shaking violently, rocking faster and faster and muttering something incoherently. After a brief medical evaluation of her former sensei's mental state Sakura found that t would be best to simply knock him out – she leaned in to him pretending to hug him, then struck one of the nerves in his neck with her hand – her medical training letting her hit exactly the spot she wanted - and the man fell unconscious in her arms.

"It was… that bad, huh?" Tsunade said in pants, exhausted from a long night of work.

"Yeah, he kept muttering something I couldn't hear and rocked back and forth, then he just started shaking… I was afraid that if I just let him continue he could hurt himself – or others." Sakura concentrated the healing green chakra in her palm over a reopened cut on Naruto's lower torso and started healing it, one of the medic nins that were helping out joined her in healing the particularly deep cut. "How's he doing, you know, overall?"

"Well…" Tsunade hesitated for a while before continuing to speak. "For once, Sakura, I'm not so sure. He's pretty badly damaged, and even if he lives through the physical injuries I think he's pretty messed up mentally. Honestly, it's not looking too good. Based solely on his physical injuries, though, I'd say he has a fifty percent chance of surviving, I can't say anymore…" Sakura nodded, a single tear streaking her cheek. Her blonde teammate could die – it suddenly dawned on her – Naruto could die. But Naruto survived everything; he had to live through this. Suddenly a thought came to her mind.

"Hey, Tsunade, how come the Kyuubi hasn't healed him? It always heals his injuries like that" at the last word Sakura snapped the fingers of her free hand.

"I'm not sure, maybe it's because he did this to himself, I don't know…"

Several hours more passed and four of the medical specialists helping out fell unconscious from fatigue before Naruto was stable enough for them to stop healing him. Kotetsu and Izumo where the two ANBU currently on guard, helped carry both Naruto, and Kakashi – who was still asleep thanks to Sakura – to the hospital. The two were put in separate rooms in the ICU, Sakura staying with her sensei who was drugged down so he'd been calm when he woke up, and Tsunade keeping guard over the teen – a medic nin was with her watching over the boy the three hours of the night that Tsunade allowed herself to sleep – completely drained of any form for energy from the long night. Sakura slept in periods, waking up once every couple of hours to check on her patient, and somehow got through the night.

--

After seven long hours morning finally came. As Sakura woke Kakashi he was so drugged he didn't even have a sense of up and down, but at least that kept him from going back into shock.

"Where 'm I? Whadd're you dooooing 'ere Shakura?" Realizing just how drugged her sensei was Sakura cut him off the strongest of the drugs he was being given through his IV and made up a spur-of-the-moment lie.

"Well, you see – we were on a mission" The pink haired girl stopped for a moment, contemplating whether to continue her lie or say something else – figuring the man was drugged enough she kept lying. "There came these guys and attacked us and you got hurt, but we made it back all right, so… Just get some rest, ok, and I'll be back to check on you later" With a smile Sakura left Kakashi sitting dumbfounded and drugged on his bed and went to the neighboring room.

"Morning" she said to Tsunade, who was sitting on a chair that had been brought in sometime during the night.

"Hey," Tsunade looked up at her apprentice with a tired smile on her lips. "How is he? Drugged out?" Sakura knew her senior was referring to Kakashi.

"Yeah, he's pretty out of it – for now he thinks we were on a mission and that he got hurt, I guess I'll have to tell him the real story later, but for now that's enough." Sakura gave an ironic laugh at the ongoing situation. "How about Naruto? Do you know anymore today or do we just have to wait and see?" Sakura was worried, Tsunade could tell from her voice.

"Mm, just wait till the medication wears off a little before you tell him or he won't remember anything and you'll be stuck saying the same thing over… As for Naruto, I'm not so sure – he made it through tonight, sure, so his chances are up to sixty percent for survival, but the mental damages that he has – nobody knows what they may be." Tsunade sighed, why hadn't she noticed what was going on with her _little brother_ before?

"Well, we'll just have to talk to him when he wakes up then, right?" Sakura smiled, thinking back to when they were smaller – when everything was good and they were still team 7 consisting of Sasuke, Naruto, Kakashi and herself. How she missed it.

"Sakura..." Tsunade begun, "Naruto's still in a coma from last night and, well… I don't even know for sure if he'll wake up…" It was hard having to tell the girl this, she was so full of hope just from the fact that the blonde was still alive, but deep down, Tsunade knew, Sakura knew how serious the situation was.

--

As some hours passed Naruto's state remained unchanged, but the drugs slowly wore off Kakashi. It was close to 3 pm when Sakura thought it time to tell him the real event of the night before, the shock had made him block all the memories of the horrible things he'd seen.

"Wait," Tsunade said, "I'll tell him, we have no idea what his reaction may be – if he gets violent you won't be able to handle him – but I'll be able to take care of him…" Sakura clenched her fist.

"But I should tell him, he knows me better – I-I'll…" Tsunade put a hand on the girls shoulder.

"No buts Sakura" The big-busted female said with a firm tone. "I'll tell him, you stay here and watches Naruto - if there's any sign of change in his condition you notify me immediately, got it?"

"Yes Tsunade" The pink haired girl understood why Tsunade did things the way she did and accepted the sannin's, her sensei's, decision. At that Tsunade walked out of the room with one last glance at the blonde boy and entered the room next to it.

--

As the door opened Kakashi looked up from fiddling with his IV tubes and into the very serious eyes of his Hokage. He leant back moving one hand behind him to support himself on. The man looked more confused than Tsunade had ever seen him, his eyes with the same look of a three year old who'd gotten lost in the supermarket – begging to know what was going on.

"So, someone's finally going to tell me what's happening?" Kakashi flipped his legs over the edge of the bed and sat up. "I-I can't remember anything from yesterday, nothing at all, and I could easily tell Sakura was lying when she told me that story of hers." Tsunade sighed – the girl had never been a good liar.

"Well, I guess it's time to tell yo…"

"Oh, and what's the deal that everyone's talking about Naruto around here, 'd something happen to him?" If Tsunade hadn't been prepared for the male's bad case of memory loss she'd ¨have been gaping like a goldfish.

"That's what I'm about to tell you, Kakashi." Tsunade wanted to break the news to the man as gently as she could, she really did, but there was no easy way to say this. "Yesterday, you found Naruto in his apartment after he… He tried to commit suicide, and you brought him here, thanks to you he's still alive…" The jounin before him put both hands to his head and started shaking violently.

"NO!" He screamed as he rocked back and forth. "It's not true!" Tsunade put her hands on the man's shoulder holding him still with surprising strength. The silver haired male looked up at her, he looked scared.

"He's alive, Kakashi. Thanks to you, he's alive – so now get a grip. There's just one thing more you need to know." She looked at Kakashi, knowing he wasn't going to handle the news of Naruto being in a coma well, but he needed to know. "Naruto is in a coma, we're- I'm not sure if he'll wake up, but there's a good chance he will. If you calm down I'll let you see him, can you do that, keep calm?"

Kakashi sat still for a while, breathing heavily as the thought. "Yes, if that's what I have to do for you to let me see him I'll try. I…" Kakashi, never one who was good with talking about emotions, wanted to confess how he felt to someone.

"Kakashi." No response from the male. "Kakashi, you there?" Tsunade waved her hand in front of the jounins eyes to gain his attention, his gaze lifted a little. "You what?" Tsunade said as half a minute passed and Kakashi had just stopped talking in the middle of a sentence.

"I… love him…" Tsunade's jaw dropped and the woman really _did_ gape like a goldfish. What the man had said had been barely above a whisper, so low it was almost inaudible, but she'd heard him. She had never thought she'd hear words like that from _his_ mouth, least of all concerning the blonde.

Closing her mouth Tsunade tried to find something to say, but nothing came to mind. "It's ok, you don't have to say anything, I just realized yesterday when he… almost died – I… I was so scared that I'd never be able to tell him, you know…" She knew exactly how he felt. Ok, so she'd been able to tell Dan how she felt and they'd had a great, though short, time together, but she'd had to watch him die. It was horrible. A strange smile came to the woman's lips

"I… I really do know how you feel, and I can't tell you how sorry I feel for you, Kakashi. These things, they… They hurt more than you'd ever imagine anything could. Come now, I'll take you to see him." With that she pulled Kakashi out of his bed and onto his feet, leading him to the next-door room.

--

As Kakashi and Tsunade entered the room, Tsunade made a signal to Sakura letting her understand that she should leave the room. As the door closed behind the pink haired girl Kakashi walked over to the bed on which his precious blonde was lying – surrounded by wires and tubes entering and exiting his body in various places.

"Naruto" the man whispered as he caressed the younger male's cheek. "Oh, Naruto, why couldn't I realize earlier, then maybe this wouldn't have happened. If I'd told you then maybe, just maybe you'd have told me what was wrong and I could help you." Kakashi bent down and put his cheek to the younger man's, one of his hands finding Naruto's as he hugged him and gave the blondes hand a light squeeze. "I love you" A single tear rolled down Kakashi's cheek and landed on Naruto's bare chest as the jounin stood up again – the blonde stirring in his sleep as the droplet hit his bare skin and split.

Suddenly a monotonous beeping noise sounded in the room, The look on Tsunade's face changing from her previous calm one to one of great fear.

"W-what's going on?" Kakashi looked around, his brain knew what was happening, but his mind just wouldn't accept it. Tsunade called for Sakura as she looked at the monitors and screens surrounding the pale boy lying still in the white hospital bed, they were all flat.

"Sakura" The apprentice medical ninja snapped to attention as her sensei talked to her, her expression turning to one of horror as she noticed what was going on. "Get someone to gather whatever medic-nins are nearby and send them here, it's urgent, then get back here immediately." Tsunade looked at her apprentice, a serious expression on her face, before she turned back to the boy before her.

"Please… Save him, please, don't let him die from me, Tsunade." The Hokage turned to the terrified jounin who now sat paralyzed in the corner of the room, tears streaking the visible part of his face, his visible eye displaying such sorrow as only those who'd experience it would be able to comprehend. The older woman looked at him calmly, smiling as best she could in the situation.

"I'm doing all I can, Kakashi, and I'll give everything to keep him alive." Kakashi closed his eyes and curled up further as Tsunade turned back to her patient.

"Tsunade!" Sakura returned to the room, two medic nins at her heels. "What happened?" the blonde girl and the two others she'd brought with her immediately started checking the boys vitals manually.

"I… I don't know, suddenly everything stopped. Let's just get him back already." The medical expert looked at Naruto, how come his heart chose that moment to stop beating. "Start CPR _NOW!"_

_--_

What seemed like an eternity to Kakashi, which in reality was mere minutes, passed before the heart monitor by Naruto's bed gave of a single beep – then several more with a regular interval between them. "Finally" Tsunade smiled. "Finally you're back, little brother."

The blonde on the bed turned his head to face the direction from which he'd heard Tsunade's voice, blinking his eyes a couple of times before opening them completely. Everything was blurred as he tried to focus, the blonde woman becoming clearer and clearer in his eyes.

"Tsu... Nade? Where am I?" confused, the blonde looked around, he hadn't expected to wake up.

"Yeah." The woman said affectionately, surprised the boy woke up so quickly, but happy not he less. "YOU BAKA, how could you do something so... so stupid?" she was yelling at the boy, her eyes tearing up.

"I'm sorry. Everything... It just... it became too much to take for me, I just couldn't take anymore. After that bastard Sasuke..." Naruto's fist clenched unconsciously at the name. "After he left everything just went to hell, and nobody wants me alive anyway..." suddenly the picture of a certain silver haired ex-sensei of Naruto's appeared on his mind – it couldn't be that he was the one who saved him. That he'd finally seen him and been able to bring him back. Then maybe the three words that were ringing in his head were for real, maybe he really had heard the man say them when he was in that dark, lonely place. It had been horrible, but then, out of nowhere, those words had reached him as everything went white.

"I-is Kakashi here?" Kakashi looked up as he heard his name, he'd been in a near unconscious state until the moment he heard his name said by... Wait, was it really Naruto who'd said his name.

"Naruto?" the realization that Naruto was awake finally dawned on the jounin. "NARUTO!" Kakashi sprang to his feet and over to the bed where his precious blonde was laying, one of his hands reaching out to touch the blonde's cheek tentatively.

"Naruto... Y-you, you're alive... I-I thought – I... I thought you were d-dead" as Kakashi sat down on the blondes bed Tsunade made a sign to Sakura and the two medic nins in the room and ushered them out, then followed them herself, closing the door behind her.

"You... when I was, uh... Asleep?" the boy looked questioningly at his former sensei, who simply nodded, then continued. "I thought I heard you speak, was it really you who said _it_" Kakashi hesitated for a moment, unsure of what _it_ was, then it dawned on him what the blonde was hinting to.

"Yeah, it was me - Wait, you heard that? I though you…" Kakashi stopped up, coming to the conclusion that what he'd thought didn't really matter, "It's true, Naruto, I really do love you, I… I'm so sorry I didn't say it before." The older man reached up for his mask, slowly pulling it down. Naruto was shocked, to say the least, - Why the man hid his face would forever be a mystery to the boy – The man's face was stunning. He had defined features, the most beautiful pair of eyes however mismatched they were, a handsome nose, and _oh_ those lips… no need to say any more, the jounins face was the picture of perfection.

A gasp escaped Naruto's lips at the sight Kakashi's face; he was stunned at how beautiful it was. The blonde boy reached out a hand and traced the silver-haired male's lips with his thumb, looking into the man's eyes. "Kakashi… Why did you have to take so long before you said something, Kakashi? You have no idea how long i've felt the same for you, I… I've loved you for so long, but – well – i never thought you cared for me _that_ way" The blonde continued staring at his former sensei, cerulean eyes were staring their way into the eldest's soul, as he smiled a strange smile.

"I'm so, so sorry, Naruto. I… I just couldn't, I…" the jounin was at a loss of words when, surprisingly, the blonde sat up and pressed his lips against Kakashi's – the oldest stunned at first, but once his mind returned to him he kissed back with all those feelings he'd kept inside for so long poured into the most passionate kiss he'd ever shared with anyone – all his feelings put into the simple action.

"Na… Ruto…" Kakashi was panting, the kiss had outlasted any he'd ever had, the two males had finally had to break for air or they'd both have fainted fro the lack of oxygen. "I love you."

Naruto felt his love's eyes staring straight into his soul as he put one hand on the man's cheek and held one of his hands with the other. "I love you too, Ka…" Naruto started coughing, taking some seconds to regain his breath, "Kashi…" Suddenly the blonde fell back; his hand on Kakashi's cheek falling to the bed and the one holding the other man's hand went limp.

Kakashi looked at his love and saw the peaceful look on the blonde's face, knowing somehow that this time he wouldn't wake up. "What is it?" Tsunade's voice was heard seconds before she barged through the door, as she saw the blonde lying still her eyes showed the fear she felt. "Sakura, let's sta…" The woman reached to say no more before the jounin holding Naruto's hand broke her off.

"There's no use, Hokage-sama, he's gone" tears were running freely from Kakashi's eyes, and he was shaking, holding on to the boy's hand for his bare life. "He's gone and he's not coming back… Naruto's gone…" The silver-haired male lay down on the bed next to his koi and cried, and Tsunade walked over to his side, putting one hand on the jounins back for comfort as they sat in silence. A single tear fell from the woman's eyes as she realized that Naruto, too, was dead. So it really was true, everyone but her that wore the cursed necklace really did die.

Sakura was shocked; Naruto was gone, for good… she stood in the doorway crying silently as she realized that both her teammates from her genin team were now gone, and she was left alone.

--

The three of them had stayed in the white hospital room for hours, crying silently at their lost fellow shinobi, comrade, teammate, family and soul mate. When they came to their senses as night fell they knew they had to tell all those who were waiting to see the blonde what had happened.

"I'll do it" Tsunade stood up and walked to the door, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

"No…" The Hokage turned to look at Kakashi, who was still sitting on the bed holding Naruto's hand. "You may tell the kids and team leaders, Jiraiya too, but I want to tell Iruka" She nodded, not knowing why the man wanted to be the bearer of bad news, especially not to Iruka – the man looked upon Naruto as his own son and would be devastated. She was happy she didn't have to tell him, he would probably be hardest to deal with, but none the less she felt horrible for Kakashi.

"And I'll tell all of the 'rookies'. I know them best, and I can handle it, you deal with Jiraiya, Tsunade, its best if we do it this way." The older woman nodded in appreciation, she was glad she didn't have to do it by herself, and then the three prepared to tell all those waiting.

--

14 shinobi looked up expectantly as the heard the door to the waiting room open, they'd been sitting in the small room for hours waiting for news regarding Naruto. As the door opened wider they could see Kakashi's defeated form, his head hanging and his shoulders crouched with his arms dangling tiredly by his sides. After him came Tsunade and Sakura, leaning against each other – the two looked about ready to collapse, and their eyes were red and swollen – the two women walked to the center of the room whilst Kakashi stayed by the door.

"Iruka, come with me, please" Kakashi looked at the younger male who was sitting curled up on a chair close to Jiraiya. The man in question sat up and looked at Kakashi, his expression was a terrified on, then he got to his feet and followed the roughly a decade older man out the door.

Only thirteen were left in the room when Sakura announced that she'd be telling all of them except for Jiraiya, the white haired toad sannin quickly got the picture and when elsewhere with his former teammate, knowing whatever news the three were bringing, it couldn't be good.

--

The three shinobi teams and their former sensei's all reacted differently at the news of Naruto's death; Tenten collapsed on Lee's shoulder, the green beast of Konoha stroking the sulking girls back whilst tears flowed from his own eyes. Neji retracted into himself and Gai simply cried, Asuma and Kurenai held each other and muttered words of comfort. Ino didn't react at first, not comprehending the news, then she started crying, leaning on Chouji's shoulder. The larger also cried, but more silently. Shikamaru did as Neji and kept to himself, only silent tears streaking his cheeks for the loss of his dear friend and fellow shinobi. Hinata sobbed loudly as Kiba tried to comfort her, Akamaru barking loudly and himself sobbing quietly. Shino, as normal, hardly showed any emotion, he simply sat by himself, no one knowing what went through his mind, but as he was sitting besides Sai he put a hand on the other male's back, he know that the blonde had meant a lot to the ROOT ANBU. Sai sat quietly and thought, not one for emotions considering he was raised not to have any, only one single tear trailed his check, then he walked over to Sakura and held her as she collapsed into his arms from the combination of fatigue and sorrow. The room was filled with the heavy atmosphere of sorrow.

--

"Jiraiya…" Tsunade tried to speak, but the white haired sannin silenced her with a finger to her lips.

"Hush, I know already. I could feel it. And I could tell from the way you look, Tsunade-Chan." A single tear rolled down the white haired male's cheek as he looked into Tsunade's eyes.

"He's gone. H-He's really gone… I-It just can't be happeni…" Tsunade's voice faded as Jiraiya's lips locked onto hers. The toad-master had been waiting for so long for this moment, he'd imagined it in every way but this – how could he imagine it happening when Naruto was dead? But it had just felt so right. The woman whom he'd loved for so long collapsed onto his shoulder when their kiss ended. As they realized they were outside Jiraiya lead them to a bench were they sat down, Tsunades head on her ex-teammates shoulder, a sad smile on her face.

"He really is gone, isn't he? I never thought he'd give up just like that and die, he had so much waiting for him. Are you gonna tell me what happened?" Jiraiya tilted the hokage's face up so she was facing him, the tears on her cheeks drying as she prepared to speak.

"He… He t-took his own life… Kakashi found him and brought him in, but we couldn't save him, we tried so hard, Jiraiya – we really did – but we couldn't."

"N-Naruto took… He took his own life?" Guilt was overcoming the well known, white haired sannin for not having been around much lately – maybe if he had the boy would still be alive, but he was dead. There was no way to bring him back, and Jiraiya felt partially responsible for what had happened, but he knew there was nothing he could do. Now more tears were coming from both the sannins eyes as they held each other in a sorrowful but loving embrace, at least in this tragedy they'd found each other – someone to help them heal the wounds from both now and before, and someone to be with. "Thank you, Naruto" Jiraiya whispered so low he was the only one to hear it, as he held his Tsunade close to him and cried.

--

"He's alive, right? Tell me he's alive, please. Kakashi, tell me he's alive" Iruka was terrified. Deep down he knew that the kitsune was dead, he just couldn't face it. Naruto was all he had, he was his most precious person; he couldn't be dead.

"Iruka… I'm sorry, Iruka, but I can't tell you that, because it's not true. Naruto… He's –"

"NO! He can't be, I won't let him be dead, okay! HE'S NOT DEAD!" Iruka was sobbing loudly, screaming words at Kakashi, who simply stood there, waiting for the devastating news to sink in with the Chuunin in front of him.

"Umino, calm down" the younger of the two got a slight better hold of himself and breathed, he did not want to hear what he knew was coming. "He is dead, Iruka, and you know it. There's nothing we can do, so calm down. I'm here for you, you know. It was just as hard for me as it was for you…" Rage filled Iruka's eyes as the last sentence slipped from Kakashi's lips.

"You think it was the same for us? You really do? How can it be? I've always been there for him, you've only known him for so long – and half that time you spent with fucking Sasuke Uchiha. You never really cared about Naruto the way I did, and you'll never know how I feel, you fucking-" Iruka felt a grip on his wrist as Kakashi pushed him into the stone behind him. They'd gone outside without him noticing and now they were standing by the memorial, the younger with his back pressed harshly against it.

"No, Umino, you're wrong," Kakashi looked desperate, tears flowing freely from the silver haired males visible eye, the mask over his other eye was soaked too. "It hurts jus the same for me as for you, if not more… I-I loved him!"

Iruka looked shocked as the words came out of his superior's mouth, the smaller's mouth falling open as he stared at Kakashi. "Yeah, that's right, so don't you go saying any of that shit of yours, ok?" Iruka realized that what the jounin was saying was true, he had really loved the blonde, one could see it in his eyes – they were so filled with endless sorrow. Neither of the two men could any longer hold back as they fell to the ground in a strange and desperate embrace, both searching for comfort and a truth that neither of them knew, both wanting some sort of comfort and certainty that they were not alone. They sat still and silent in front of the memorial for hours simply finding the little bit of comfort they could in each other before they had to return to their lives.

The End.


End file.
